Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Moving On...


I'm moving. Again. For like, the billionth time. I hate moving. The actual act of moving, not so much the change of scenery. Its time. I have so much I need to put behind me and sadly, Nashville is one of them. I came here a year ago scared, confused and desperate with a million dreams in my head of how it was going to all play out. Yep...not so much. It was nothing that I expected it to be. And now its time to go. And I'm so scared. I'm scared because I know there is no turning back for me. If this doesn't play out well, then it just doesn't and I have nowhere to run. I can't run back home to Mom and Dad doesn't work. I can't just pick up and take off either...I'm getting too old for that crap.I just have to make it work somehow....and that is so scary. I've have taken on so many new adventures lately for the sake of change. Moving to back to Cincinnati being one of those. I also have explored and failed at online dating. I met a guy...thought there was potential and then proceeded to get my heart broken...again.It sucked.But I did it. I put myself out there and tried something new. And now its time to move on. I hope I find that missing piece in Cinci. I might. I might not. But I hope. I am thankful though because I see the city as a warm embrace waiting for me. I soft place to land where hopefully I can leave some of the pain and disappointment that Nashville has forged behind. I pray that this new venture will prove fruitful and that I will begin to see myself taking steps forward instead of continually backward. I am thankful though for my time spent here. I learned a lot. Cried a lot more. Made some amazing friends. Found a purpose. That is reason enough to say it was worth it all. I know that there is a plan. Well, I know that God has one but I have no idea what it is. He is generous. He is kind. So I know whatever it is, though I may not always like it, there is reason and wisdom to be found in it. I will press on. I will accept this course. I will do my best. Nothing is be perfect but I know it will be better. Adventure awaits. So as Elton John once said, goodbye yellow brick road. I'm moving on.

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